Why are you Single?

For the love of my sanity, I want to know...when did it become appropriate to ask anyone this question? I know I don’t walk around asking married people why they’re married! Seriously, who gave anyone the impression that this was decent human behavior? It’s like asking a woman who just gave birth when she’s due! Or asking a fat guy why he’s fat. Or asking a bitch why they’re a bitch. (I could go on but I’ll spare you.)
I had jury duty on Tuesday and after about an hour, the guy sitting next to me struck up a conversation. 10 minutes into the conversation…”so Jen, why are you single?” Sigh. I thought about saying I accidentally left my wedding ring at home. I thought about asking him why he was married. Instead, I said, “I don’t know, guess I haven’t found the one yet.”
EW. I cringe at the thought of it. Since the guy was nice enough to learn my name and a bit about me before he insulted me with the most ridiculous question known to woman-kind, I let it slide.
On my way to the office (woo hoo, no jury duty for me!), I decided if I’m going to be tortured with the ridiculousness that is this question, then I’m going to have some fun with it. Instead of the generic, “gee, I don’t know,” I’m going to answer this question from now on with ridiculous (but not insulting) answers. I don’t want to offend anybody…I just think a stupid question deserves an equally stupid (if not classic) answer!
I told my mom about my epiphany and she was so entertained by the idea she hopped on Google. A few of the answers she found:
*No one has been smart enough to ask me yet
*Actually, one of my personalities, Jane, is married. But Mary has too many issues, Sue is a commitment-phone and Sally, well, she’s too independent.
*Just lucky, I guess
*I accidentally fell in love with my half brother and we can't legally marry
*I can't decide if I like men or women
And my favorite…
*I mail ordered but he hasn’t shipped yet.
I swear to ya'll, I will use these. AND I want to know if you have any good ones too! Let me know and I will do a follow up post with the best answers and let you know the reactions I get with them. :o)
And guys who are reading this, if I ever find out ya’ll do this to a woman, I will hunt you down myself and smack you. Don't EVER ask a woman this. IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE HUMAN BEHAVIOR!