Tidbits from the New Girl at the Office

Once you work somewhere for a while, you kinda forget what made you nervous and scared and happy about being the new person.  Every time I tell a co-worker one of these things, he or she cracks up.  So hopefully, you find this stuff as funny as they do. :o)
**We need to color code the different departments.  Why?  Because I spent 20 minutes wandering around the IT deparment on Wednesday looking for my desk.  Don't worry, I have yet to be late.  THANKFULLY, I'm at the office about 20 minutes before I need to be there.  But when I get to my desk all frazzled, people question me.  I have NO business being in IT.  NONE!
**I love the way heels make me feel.  They make my outfits look better, I carry myself better and I feel pretty.  By the time I get to the cafeteria for lunch in this massive office, I want to put on my slipper socks.  Heels are not my friend at JCP. 
**I sat in a vendor meeting on Tuesday.  I'm 99% sure I was grinning ear to ear the entire time because I've just missed vendor meetings.  I've missed the product, the connection, the importance I feel in the vendor wanting my opinion.  It was so much fun!  I hope I never lose that feeling.  Ever.
**I've always had a badge or some sort of identification at work.  At JCP, you actually have to wear these said IDs.  I seriously thought I had amnesia or short term memory loss when this girl walked up to me and started talking about JCP when I was at Target after work yesterday.  Turns out, I still had my badge attached to my pants and she wanted to tell me how awesome the Skillman store was.  Ha!
**We don't have a dress code at work.  In some ways, it feels like high school.  Every single day, there are people who are dressed down, people who are dressed up and I always feel out of place!  It's gonna take a minute for me to get used to this.  I hate feeling over and under dressed so my mornings are now spent in front of my closet deciding what will make me feel good, rather than sleeping in.  The life of an adult...when I went into the office today, my co-worker said I always look so cute.  I said "Thank God!  This is the 4th outfit I put on this morning!"

Change

I don't deal well with change.  Much to my dismay, I am a creature of habit.  If I'm in the habit of cooking, I'll cook every night.  If I'm in the habit of drinking wine, I will do so every night.  If I date, I date a lot.  Same for working out and so on.   I'm kinda an all or nothing girl (who knew??)
I'm happy and thrilled to say one official week in the injections seem to be doing what they're supposed to.  I'm still getting a few spasms and moving cautiously but everything has been much easier to handle, even the plane ride to my parent's house (which, I won't lie, I was really apprehensive about.)
What I will not lie about is that I'm a nervous wreck.  My mom made a comment last night that I "seem to be going through the wine" which, trust me, I HATE, but given the past few months of my life and the changes on the horizon, I'm a bundle of nerves.
I think it's funny where life does take you.  In my interview with Penney's, my new boss asked me the most surprising thing about my career.  My answer was "the fact that I have one."  (I don't do fake answers in interviews.)  My point was that growing up, I thought I'd have the 2.5 kids, husband and white picket fence by now.  I don't and I'm okay with that.  Never in this life did I think I'd have a career, let alone a GOOD one! 
I'm grateful for my family's support and no joke, it almost brings me to tears when they don't act surprised I landed a great job with a huge company.  They've always had more faith in me than I do but I kinda prefer for it to be that way.
I wish this was a more exciting post but this is really just what's going on in my head and my life!  I've decided to leave Toby with my Mom for the few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas because I'll be nuts with the new job and I think he'd be thrilled to spend some time with "Grandma!"
I hope ya'll had a fabulous Thanksgiving and just in case I don't write for a while, I hope you have an amazing Christmas!!!

Nerves

Nerve Wracking Blessings.  That's what I'm calling these next few weeks. 
This friday I'm getting a few injections in my lower back joints as a final non-invasive attempt to alleviate the pain I've had for the past 12 1/2 WEEKS.  Both a welcome and terrifying procedure.  Welcomed by the family and friends who are beyond sick of hearing about my back pain so they've all taken 2-20 steps back from my life (I don't blame them, I haven't really liked myself much the past 3 months) and terrified by me who has to be injected by needles so big they have to put me under.  EEK.
If you know me, you know I have a fear of needles.  And even if you don't know me, you now know because I just told you.  SERIOUS FEAR.  When I was 10, it took my mother, 3 nurses and my doctor to hold me down for some sort of shot because someone let me see the needle.  To this day, I tell every doctor and nurse no matter what, just DON'T let me see the needle.
Again, I'll be sedated for this procedure but I know what happens.  And my biggest fear is I won't be sedated enough and I'll feel something.  UGH.  Can it be Friday already?  Preferably around 11am or so when I'm comfortably (maybe) sleeping off the sedative on my couch??  One of my bffs Kristen is taking me for the shots (I owe her my life and am beyond grateful she volunteered so I don't have to take a cab!) and my Dad is driving up Saturday morning to help me over the weekend.  I'm a lucky, lucky girl.
Now for the other nerve wracking blessing...the new job.  I am SO grateful I got this position.  And I'm grateful for the transition time I've had.  (I resigned last week and my last day at TM is a week from today.) 
But I'm scared to death.  What if I'm horrible??  What if I have no idea what I'm doing and they think they made a huge mistake???  I won't lie; the past 2 jobs I've had have included a nightmare of a boss.  All situations were taken care of but I don't want to go through all that again.  It's exhausting.  And extremely taxing on one's self esteem.
I have worked so hard the past 2 1/2 years to get where I am at Tuesday Morning.  Not only professionally, but socially.  Comfort doesn't come in a week or even a month or maybe even a year.  I've worked with the same people for at least the past 6 months and we all have our levels of comfort.  We know each other.  We understand how we all operate.  It's comforting. 
I know I won't have that right away and that scares me.  Today I was asking my co-workers how long I need to give my new co-workers until I act like "me."  They said 3 months.  DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT IS TO ACT NORMAL?!?!
Good grief.  This is gonna be interesting ya'll...that's all I have to say.

Happy Hump Day!!

Friday Confessions

 

**I apologize for not informing ya'll but I'm not sure how much attention I wanted to give this transition.  It's very bittersweet, but I resigned from my job this week.  On Monday I accepted a new position as an Assistant Buyer of Fine Jewelry at JCPenney.  While I'm very excited and nervous for the new challenges ahead of me, I am so sad to leave a team of people I love so much.  I have faith I'm making the right decision but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

 

**I just realized this is my last Friday at Tuesday Morning.  I'll be out next Friday for my back injections and the week after that we're all off for Thanksgiving.  I guess it's a perk that our system is closing down at 3 and we're going to happy hour!  Best last Friday ever.

 

**For whatever reason, a lot of people who have resigned here haven't always told people where they're going.  I couldn't (and still can't) figure this out for the life of me.  Since I was nervous there was an obvious reason I was just missing I started googling "reasons not to say...".  The FIRST thing that popped up was "reasons not to say YOLO."  Seriously?!?  I choked on my water and told everyone I know who would appreciate it. 

 

**I don't know if it's the time change or the pending weather change but I have been SO tired this week.  I'm going to blame it on the time change and pray I'm not becoming an old person who soon has to make dinner reservations at 5:30 because I can't stay up past 9:00.

 

**I try very hard not to judge people.  Yesterday, I could help it.  There was a man in the waiting room at the pain management dr's office who you could tell was just a bit "off."  I felt bad for him until he sat next to me and physically tried to turn my head to look at the stitches in his knee after I POLITELY refused.  The staff made him wait in the hall.  I wanted to ask for a free appointment but I had a feeling that wouldn't fly.

 

**I can't take Alleve for the next week due to my back injections and that almost scares me more than the injections themselves.  The doctor said I could take Tylenol but for me, that's a useless drug.  I'm trying to focus on the fact he said I could drink as much wine as I want.  I asked for a prescription so I could bring some to work and he actually laughed.  No one laughs at my jokes!  I think I may love him. 

 

I hope ya'll have a fabulous weekend!  I have a co-workers wedding tomorrow and I'm hoping the fact that I'll be wearing heels won't kill me.  I'm sorry but flats and a cocktail-ish dress isn't something I'll ever do, I don't care how much pain I'm in!  

Election Day

Moral of the Commercial:  The world would be a better place with dance-offs.


Peace and Paws Dog Rescue
 



Happy Post

I haven't really kept my word about looking on the bright side of things in memory of those we've lost too soon.  I'm not going to lie, the last few weeks have been a bit dim.  Nothing to complain about in the grand scheme of things but nothing to write about either.  So in hopes of turning my luck around, I'm going to try really hard to focus on the positive. 
Here we go...
**I am beyond impressed with my sisters' and mother's attitude during the Hurricane Sandy debacle.  They didn't have power for DAYS (Mom happened to be visiting family during this storm so yes, we need to talk about her travel timing) but every time I was able to talk to them, they never complained.  I'm not saying they're dirty, but if I go for more than 24 hours without a shower, you might as well just lock me in a closet and let me throw my tantrum.  I'm in serious awe of how everyone pulled together and made the best of a bad situation.
**After my eye exam at the mall this morning (isn't that convienent?!), I stopped at H&M.  I didn't know I was walking into a war zone!  A mother/daughter duo was having quite the disagreement on a sweater/dress and after one pair of opaque tights and a properly fitted skirt I was called a "hero."  (I should probably mention I have the same sweater/dress in my closet...)
**The main thing I love about Texas is the people.  My allergies were killing me the other day and I was at Target. A lady with 2 kids in her cart heard me sniffling and clearing my throat.  She took the Claritin she hadn't paid for yet, ripped open the box and gave me one.  She said if didn't work to let her know because she just came from a doctor's appointment who recommended it.  I laughed and said I'd be happy to be her guinea pig.  Strange, yes, but if the situation were reversed, I'd do the same thing.
**Due to some injections I got this week (that I will never EVER EVER get again) I've been extremely grateful for leggings, stretchy pants and very loose fitting tops.  This injury has made me humble.  I will never judge anyone who has a scooter.  I'm not gonna lie, this morning, I was actually a little bit jealous of those scooter riding mall goers.

**It's quite obvious to me that soon after someone attempts to date me, they meet the person they're actually supposed to be with.  Some would see this as depressing, I (sometimes) see this as putting in my time.  I have high hopes that one day when Cam Gigandet realizes I'm alive, he'll  knock on my door...

with child and all!  Don't you worry, all ya'll will all be invited to the wedding. 

**Clearly I'm kidding :o)  I wouldn't ever let this man near my beautiful family and friends!! 

I hope ya'll are having a wonderful weekend!! 

      

Friday Confessions

**This morning I noticed my waistline was a bit...thicker than normal.  I knew swelling was a potentional side effect from the injections I got yesterday but what I DIDN'T think about was the fact that my jeans wouldn't be able to button.  Thank you Lord for elastisized leggings and roomy tops!

**If my nails aren't painted, I tend to bite them.  Therefore they need to be pretty 24/7.  As a result of last night's pathetic attempt, I am sporting the world's worst excuse of a manicure today.  I'm embarrassed.  But not embarrassed enough to pick the polish off. 

**Last week I went home to find the tail end of all time classic movie on tv.  I was so distraught I missed it (and didn't record it) that I ordered the DVD from amazon.com.  That's right people..I am now the proud owner of this 1989 classic:

Be jealous. :o)

**I have been on a mission to find the perfect black boots for winter.  The ones I currently have  always fall down my leg and I look ridiculous.  I have super skinny calves (it's real attractive, lemme tell ya) but since I don't want to spend an arm and a leg, both my calves and my budget have made this quite the impossible task.  Anyone have any ideas where I could look??  I've tried DSW and Zappos but I do prefer to try them on before I buy them...

I hope ya'll have a fabulous weekend!!  Happy Fall Back :o) (Don't forget to change your clocks tomorrow night!)

Rant

I realize things could (and can) always be worse.  No matter the situation, whenever I've been in pain, sick or depressed, my parents have always said "it could always be worse." Yes, that's true.  And don't take that the wrong way...my parents are two of the most loving people alive.  But they believe in keeping things in perspective which unfortunately, sometimes, makes me want to break something.
Now is one of those times.  Please note, I realize most of the Northern East Coast is still without power after Hurricane Sandy.  I also realize I have a lot of family and friends I was worried about only a few short days ago.  So yes, I do realize things could be worse.
Life is life and there's always crap to deal with.
In terms of my current injury, I've surpassed my limit of tolerance.  Today I got trigger point injections and while I should be at happy hour with the allocation team, I'm instead laying on ice on my couch because I can't even put pressure on my left side (where the injections were.)  I did call a pain management doctor today because again, I'm beyond over and done with this situation.    
For the past two months, I haven't had a life.  I didn't celebrate my birthday this year and if you know me, you probably just fell out of your chair.
I don't want to get out of  bed in the morning.  I do because I have a job and I'm grateful.  I don't want to socialize; if I do, it's usually short lived and last minute. I spend most of my nights in the fetal position on my couch or in my bed.  I drink at least two glasses of wine every night.  I've become more self absorbed than I can stand.  (Case in point...most of my family is without power after dealing with Sandy and here I am blogging about my back pain.)  If I sleep more than 3 hours straight at a time, it's a good night.  I'm constantly exhausted.  I want to scream and cry because I'm single and 31 and my time outside of work should be fun and enjoyable.  Instead, when I can't stand being home any longer, I put on a happy face and count down the minutes until I can reclaim the fetal position because even though I'm hurting, it makes me happy to see friends happy to see me. (Self indulgent much?)  I'm SICK of people judging me and looking at me after I've explained my injury with an expression of "what's the big deal?"
Granted, the reason why this is so frustrating is because I do have good minutes.  Hours, even.  But days?  No.
Have ya'll ever dealt with a situation like this?  How did you overcome it?