Only Me...

I need bubble wrap.  For me.  Not for packages or fragile things.  I need bubble wrap for me.  And possibly Toby. 
I won't go into details because it's the type of story that would make you cringe but I'll just say that little dogs and stairs are a bad combination and my back brace is getting more action than it has in a while.  And the pain...holy hell, the PAIN.  Thank you Lord for Alleve. 
I'm grateful it's not worse but ohmigod, WHY did I buy a house with stairs?!? 
Now, if I wanted to purchase enough bubble wrap to outfit an adult, where exactly would I go to do that?  Bugs may need a bubble wrap outfit too.  Or maybe I should just cover my house in rubber.