Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I wish...

Is there one thing you wish you could change about yourself but you can't?  No matter how hard you try?
I wish I could change my level of sensitivity.  Well, that, and my height. 
I wish I was just 1-2 inches shorter.  I have tried's not cute.  When I was little I prayed I would grow up to be 5'6 1/2"-5'7" (I thought it would help if I was specific.)  And I have tried to wear heels and embrace my height.  (It doesn't help that some refer to you as "big."  Hello, SHORT LITTLE PERSON, THAT IS RUDE.) 
ANYWAY, my sensitivity. I feel like it's something I could change if I really wanted to, but at the end of the day, I am who I am.  Being anything other than me is just way too much work.  And frankly, who has the time?? 
I've been told my whole life that I'm "too sensitive."  And in some instances, I certainly agree.  But I don't see bitchy people walking around apologizing for being bitchy.  So why should I apologize for being sensitive?  I know it hurts my loved ones to see me hurt but I'm a big girl and I can handle whatever is thrown my way.  I certainly have before and I will again.  And again.  And again.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?  (I won't lie, I change the station every time I hear that song.  Sometimes I even yell at the radio that "it", whatever "it" is, MAY actually kill me and then I won't be strong at all.  So take THAT Kelly Clarkson.)  I realize I may have some issues...  
I turned down a fostering opportunity yesterday and it is KILLING me.  I know I don't have the time or energy to devote to a puppy.  And at the end of the day, it's about what's best for the puppy.  But I hate that I can't help right now.  Please don't think that I think I can save every dog.  Trust me, there are a lot of people (thankfully) who do much more than I do in terms of rescuing animals.  But when I'm asked to help, it kills me to say no.  I feel selfish.  But I realize there will be other opportunities and 8+ hours a day in a crate is no life for a puppy (or any dog for that matter.) 
Is there anything about yourself you wish you could change? 

1 comment:

  1. We all have things that we want to change about ourselves (thanks society your awesome!) but I go through the day living out my strenghts and if I so happen to slip on one of my, things to improve on, that day well then so be. Some days I might cry, be mad, sad, what have you... but I rather have these things that I would want to change than to be someone I am not by hiding this fact. I love being imperfect because this means I will always grow to be better....
    Love the post Jen :D