Thursday, November 1, 2012


I realize things could (and can) always be worse.  No matter the situation, whenever I've been in pain, sick or depressed, my parents have always said "it could always be worse." Yes, that's true.  And don't take that the wrong parents are two of the most loving people alive.  But they believe in keeping things in perspective which unfortunately, sometimes, makes me want to break something.
Now is one of those times.  Please note, I realize most of the Northern East Coast is still without power after Hurricane Sandy.  I also realize I have a lot of family and friends I was worried about only a few short days ago.  So yes, I do realize things could be worse.
Life is life and there's always crap to deal with.
In terms of my current injury, I've surpassed my limit of tolerance.  Today I got trigger point injections and while I should be at happy hour with the allocation team, I'm instead laying on ice on my couch because I can't even put pressure on my left side (where the injections were.)  I did call a pain management doctor today because again, I'm beyond over and done with this situation.    
For the past two months, I haven't had a life.  I didn't celebrate my birthday this year and if you know me, you probably just fell out of your chair.
I don't want to get out of  bed in the morning.  I do because I have a job and I'm grateful.  I don't want to socialize; if I do, it's usually short lived and last minute. I spend most of my nights in the fetal position on my couch or in my bed.  I drink at least two glasses of wine every night.  I've become more self absorbed than I can stand.  (Case in point...most of my family is without power after dealing with Sandy and here I am blogging about my back pain.)  If I sleep more than 3 hours straight at a time, it's a good night.  I'm constantly exhausted.  I want to scream and cry because I'm single and 31 and my time outside of work should be fun and enjoyable.  Instead, when I can't stand being home any longer, I put on a happy face and count down the minutes until I can reclaim the fetal position because even though I'm hurting, it makes me happy to see friends happy to see me. (Self indulgent much?)  I'm SICK of people judging me and looking at me after I've explained my injury with an expression of "what's the big deal?"
Granted, the reason why this is so frustrating is because I do have good minutes.  Hours, even.  But days?  No.
Have ya'll ever dealt with a situation like this?  How did you overcome it?   


  1. This sucks. Things could be worse but I don't think it makes you self absorbed to talk about constant pain you're in. It's your life. It's important.

  2. Thanks girl :o). I really appreciate it!!