Thursday, May 3, 2012


A few weeks ago, a friend told me "you are how you define yourself."  (I really expected her to say "you are what you eat" but apparently this was a more serious conversation.)  Ever since then, I can't get that phrase out of my head.
I've thought about it constantly since only to realize that she's right.  I've always defined myself as a single person.  (Better late than never to realize the obvious, right?)  Granted, when I've had a boyfriend, I've defined myself as a woman in a relationship (you get the point.) In my world, that's my definition of who I am.  My relationship status. 
The problem is, other people don't define me that way...for the most part.  I have always looked at being single as a handicap.  And I feel like society does too.  I recently blogged about being asked "why are you single?" It's a question that irks me...mainly because I don't ask "why are you married?" or "why are you in a relationship?"  Point blank, it's a flattering and rude question, all at the same time.  And that, ya'll, is really annoying.
Anyway, ever since my friend told me "you are how you define yourself," I've decided to change how I do so.  I'm so much more than a single woman.  I'm much more imporant things...I'm a granddaughter.  I'm a daughter.  I'm a sister.  I'm a friend.  I'm happily employed.  I'm a blonde.  I'm a home owner.  I'm a dog foster parent.  I'm a shopaholic.  I'm a wine lover.  I'm lucky.  The list could go on...
There's a country song called "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins.  This is the chorus:

'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

I heard this song the day my friend told me her now-infamous phrase.  I've heard this song a million times before but for the first time, I really heard it. 
I do believe life is short.  I do believe things happen for a reason.  And I do believe in fate.  I think my friend and God (and Trace Adkins) were trying to tell me something that day.
I'm okay.  I'm better than okay, I'm good.  And I'm fabulous.  One day, (God willing) I will have a family.  And my husband and my children will be driving me crazy.  And I will wish for the days I was blogging, drinking elderflower and champagne on my patio with my dogs who love to cuddle and walk on my laptop.
I don't want to live with regrets.  I don't want to live expecting something better to happen.  I am a 30 year old woman who has the best family and friends for me.  I live a fabulous life.  And anyone who makes me feel less than lucky is not my friend.  I'm old enough and wise enough to appreciate and understand that now.
The point of this blog?  To let ya'll, who are struggling with living your life, know that you're not alone.  It's okay to feel sad and lonely and maybe feel like something better is out there for you.  But chances are, what you have now is pretty great.  So stop focusing on what you don't have and start focusing on what you do.
Because life is short.  And if you can't find at least 1 good thing in your life, then you're clearly not living right. :o)

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